Choti
Mata’s Note: It is a truth universally recognized that a person in need of
online recognition must be regular in posting content. I spent an entire year
of my life in a brilliant startup that thrived on this very idea. I still
needed to traumatize Jane Austen fans to remind myself of this basic tenet. I
hope the irony is not lost on you. While I don’t admit to be in need of online
recognition…or well in need of anything in general (this is Choti Mata speaking
remember!), I have resolved to get more regular. Well, resolved to try to get
more regular. I can think of a grand total of 3 people who would be extremely
happy with this development.
Choti Mata loves her personal
cheerleading squad.
Who
would have thought that an insane, nearly pointless and absolutely harrowing
real estate hunt in Mumbai could whip up some serious life lessons?
Last
few months of my life have been a blur of random images. Oddball brokers,
expensive flats, inhabitable properties—punctuated by a whole lot of taxi
chasing and hair pulling. It was all my fault really. I was first trying to rent a flat. Then the
family back home decided they needed to throw some serious cash around and
decided they will buy a property instead. The only trouble was that all the
serious cash magically transformed into peanuts the moment Mumbai made its
appearance in the transactions.
Hence,
I was trying to buy a flat. And then rent one. And eventually at some point
during this self inflicted confusion induced real estate torture, I found
myself accommodation-less—rented or bought.
Long
story short, I did succeed in renting a place. I am definitely closer to an
impending hypertension than I was a few months ago. But I did rent a place. And
from what I can make out of the constant commotion in the house these days, the
family seems to have managed to almost buy one too.
But
this piece is not about mine or the family’s real estate conquest. This is not
about the heart attack I almost did get but then didn’t. This is about
something slightly more significant; slightly more meaningful.
This
is about the illusion of control. And the idea of letting go.
In
one of those paradoxes that seem to be a product of some sort of cosmic joke on
Choti Mata, the property I eventually rented was the one I had seen in the very
first hour of the very first day of my house hunt. I rejected it. Not that
there was something gravely wrong with the apartment. It was actually pretty
decent by Mumbai standards. It just did not fit my ‘vision’.
Then
began my quest for a house. I ran around the lanes of Mumbai like a headless
chicken. I cursed. And then ran some more. On account some strange, fancy
(Sigh! human foibles) and frankly rather stupid whim, I made into a sort of
personal ego issue to not take up that house—the
one I had seen in the first instance. This despite the fact that there was
nothing majorly wrong with the house and even more importantly, it fit into my
budget perfectly.
It
was personal. I did not want that house.
Driven
by this sense of challenge , I pushed myself beyond limits of any reasonable
sense. And looked. And looked. And looked.
Obviously,
I failed. It was as if the entire Universe had conspired against me to make
sure this was challenge I did not win.
By
the time I was done, my aforementioned ‘vision’ had dissolved so well and
proper, I could not recall what it looked like. And my ego had taken a beating
so bad, I was surprised my identity responded to my own name.
I had lost. To a house. To a damn house!
It
was much later that I actually registered the larger lessons that were far more
important than my ego-bruises. It was a trivial house hunt—but the resulting realization
was massive and disproportionately humbling.
The realization of how little control I had on something as minor as a house and what did it really say about my life as a whole!
Almost
all of us lead our lives with a prevailing sense of control—on our decision, on
people, on almost everything else. Once in a while something happens that
reminds us that this life is much larger than our individuality allows us to
realize. Sometimes it is something momentous—like a tragedy. At others, it is
trivial, like a house hunt. But these periodic reminders, their scale
notwithstanding are extremely crucial. Crucial for us to remind ourselves that
we are mere players in a larger game. The game of life. Ultimately, it is the life that plays out. There are
things-- sometimes everything that is beyond our control. And this is one fact,
if taken in the right spirit, that can be extremely liberating. It can free us from
the burden of consequence driven actions—obsessing over results, obsessing over
success and failure, obsessing over our control on things or people in our
lives.
It
is one simple realization that can actually allow us to not worry. To live. And
enjoy while we are at it.
If any testimony for the success of this formula is required, my experience is an illustrative example. After all the struggle and pointless torment, I eventually realized that letting go was actually the best option. And the house that was offered up by the conspiring forces of the Universe is not so bad after all. All I actually needed to do was to let go of my need to control and accept gracefully.
Barring the graceful part, I have nailed the acceptance. And you know what? It works.
good blog. read it bcoz it was something about bombay. i know hunting a house in bombay can be a torment, i hv been thru it.
ReplyDeletegood blog. read it bcoz it was something about bombay. i know hunting a house in bombay can be a torment, i hv been thru it.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThanks for reading! It is a pleasure to have readers like you on this blog! :)
ReplyDeletemy pleasure always and thanks for the compliments.
ReplyDeleteif i can ask u something, do u believe in god and whatever be ur answer if i can ask a favor from u can u write a blog on it(ur answer to that question) as u write really well.
nonetheless god bless.
Thank you for that request. Anything about God is right in my playing field. :) I will definitely do a post on this. Please keep an eye out on this blog. I will try to put up a post on this soon. Meanwhile, for my ideas on spirituality, God and that kind of stuff, you can look up my Speaking Tree articles on Google (both the blog and the ones that were published in the print column). A couple of them are old but they will give you some sense of where I stand on this.
ReplyDeletei will definitely do so....
ReplyDeletehi noopur,
ReplyDeletei read ur blog on spirituality on speakingtree website, i cant access ur articles on ST print bcoz i hv not subscribed to that paper, however i can read ST articles in times of india ST space.
Ur blog is more on spirituality and its a good one but what i m asking u to write is abt god, do u think he exists or not and ifs and else's about it. ofcourse u understand what i mean like a blog or such....